I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
