she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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