Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
