When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
