Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
