i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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