Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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