Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
