What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
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