I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
