thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
