Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
