I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
