would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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