Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
