You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
