and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
