You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
