nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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