That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
