I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
