Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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