please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Less talking, more tequila
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
