The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
