Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
