Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
soo... how was my night?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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