I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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