After last night, I could never be a politician.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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