Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
