i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
