also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
that's an acceptable place to lick
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
