I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
