it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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