dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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