Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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