There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
