ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
