At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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