I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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