You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
