I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I need a burrito and a hug.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
