Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
