Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
