no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
