Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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