There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
