hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
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