he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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