went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
