Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
