My room smells like vodka and shame
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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